"Good-bye", "I love you", "You have been such wonderful friends and neighbors", "I am so grateful for your friendship and support". These last few weeks have been full of these phrases as we packed up and emptied our home in Philly and moved to Arizona, all on our way to South Asia. We gave away and sold the vast majority of our possessions, and I remember the sting in my heart the day my salad bowl left our home. I remember how Judah cried for a long time when our friends came to take away our coffee table, which we'd found on the side of the street. I had certainly become more attached to my possessions than I ever had planned or thought.
But sitting here in Arizona a week after leaving it all behind, my heart mourns most for the loss of the community we had in Philly. I haven't thought twice about my salad bowl. I haven't missed my house. My longing is to walk out the front door and catch-up with my dear neighbor, Donna. To see Bryce outside and quickly get Judah's shoes on so he can play and make farting noises with his favorite friend. It's to walk down to Pathmark and run into Mary and Bob and Paul and Stacie on the way and find out the happenings in their lives the last few days. To have them ask me questions about our journey to South Asia and show genuine interest and affection for our family.
I used to run into an elderly woman down the road quite often. I never could remember her name, but she always called me by mine. She stopped in the day of our final garage sale to say good-bye. She had tears in her eyes and expressed how wonderful it was to have neighbors like us. I felt so ashamed I never knew her name. But, I will never forget her face or the conversations we had.
I cried the whole way through the last 4 or 5 Sundays at Lighthouse Worship Center, our church in Philly. I couldn't even look at Iris, my dear friend, or I would just start crying all over again. People like Iris are un-replacable, unlike my salad bowl. Someone who loves me, never judges me, and always makes me laugh.
And then there's my Bible Study friends. The girls I spent most of my time in Philly with...studying God's Word, play dates, outings. My circle of closest friends, who I could always call and get together with at the drop of a hat, and be inspired, encouraged, and renewed.
It all makes me realize....in the end, home has nothing to do with four walls, furniture, fancy TVs, decorations, my favorite dishes. It has everything to do with the people who make my community. I think there's something in most of us that wants to make our house a home. So, we fill it with pretty things and make it our masterpiece...spending lots of time, energy, and money to make it just right. And there's nothing wrong in that to a point. But, I'm realizing more and more that the real investment that will last forever is not in the stuff of my home, but in the people of my community. Because in the end, all the pretty stuff will go away, get old and ugly, or we just might have to get rid of it all for one reason or another. I'm so thankful that I took the time and energy to invest in my community in Philly. It wasn't always easy, but I wouldn't trade that community for anything. Although I can now fit the sum total of my possessions in two suitcases, a carry-on, and a couple small boxes, my cup runneth over!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
"On Blessings and Sacrifices" - from my Grandma
I have a heritage in the Lord that I hold very dear. My grandparents and parents both made the decision, years and years ago to follow the Lord halfway around the globe, for the sake of the cross, and to make His Name known.
While visiting my 86-year-old grandma, Elsie Hunter, last month, she gave me a copy of a short article she had written about 45 years ago. She was then a missionary in South Africa, caring for missionary kids of parents who worked in the bush. She had 6 kids of her own, and felt a ton of heartache for and with her children as she fulfilled God's call on her own life. She poses the question, "is it really worth it?" I was encouraged by her words below, and think you may be also.
"On Blessings and Sacrifices"
Little did we think nineteen years ago that the big, healthy, baby son, that the Lord had loaned to us, would be boarding a South African Airways plane to soar thousands of miles away from us to go to Bible School in America. As I thought upon this, my mind also returned to the time when we had to part from Joyce and Janice nearly three years ago at Kennedy Airport, and with broken hearts, come thousands of miles over here. And then Janice came over to see us for nearly five weeks and we had to part with her again about three weeks ago. There is so much to do that I don't usually allow myself the luxury of meditating long on these things but, with this one that is so close to our hearts, I asked myself the age-old question, "Is it really worth it?"
Is it worth leaving those whom the Lord entrusted in your care for a time that is seemingly much too short in retrospection, and go out where, many, many times you are misunderstood, distrusted, unloved, and perhaps unrewarded, humanly speaking? This is the question that haunts the minds and hearts of many and is the greatest problem ever faced by a missionary couple. Can we really lay all on the altar when the "ALL" includes our own flesh and blood? Many must "count the cost" over and over before sending their own dear children to us, whether they be six years old or sixteen. Then, having "counted the cost" they bring all the children they have and, with breaking hearts, drive off and leave them here with us. As the Lord has seen fit for us to experience the same thing many times, we mingle our tears with theirs, and learn to love them and feel with them, making a bond that draws us close to the Lord for His grace and comfort.
As I thought on these things, I came to a conclusion. If I am here on a perpetual holiday; if I am here to take rather than to give; if I am here for any selfish, self-centered reason at all; and if I have not done my very best in the task that Lord called me to do, then I am come in vain. I have not only betrayed the Lord and those who pray and gave to send us to the field, but I have betrayed my own dear children, who must turn to others for love, guidance, and comfort. We are very much averse to tear-jerkers in messages and letters, but felt that we should share our griefs with you at times, as well as our joys. In the midst of the grief at parting with Jim, is the joy that he loves the Lord and wishes to honor His Word and serve Him too. Many missionary parents have had grief upon grief when their children turned from the Lord and went their own way. We've also had the joy of seeing Joyce and Janice train for Christian service and wait upon the Lord for His direction and guidance. his blessings always outweigh the sacrifices.
Elsie Hunter
Fairfield Children's Home, South Africa
My husband, child, and I are currently in the throws of departing to serve God in a far away land. When I read my grandmother's word, I take courage. There are some really tough good-byes ahead, and yet, I believe with my grandma, "his blessings always outweigh the sacrifices." And we are seeing the blessings every day! Thank you, Jesus!
While visiting my 86-year-old grandma, Elsie Hunter, last month, she gave me a copy of a short article she had written about 45 years ago. She was then a missionary in South Africa, caring for missionary kids of parents who worked in the bush. She had 6 kids of her own, and felt a ton of heartache for and with her children as she fulfilled God's call on her own life. She poses the question, "is it really worth it?" I was encouraged by her words below, and think you may be also.
"On Blessings and Sacrifices"
Little did we think nineteen years ago that the big, healthy, baby son, that the Lord had loaned to us, would be boarding a South African Airways plane to soar thousands of miles away from us to go to Bible School in America. As I thought upon this, my mind also returned to the time when we had to part from Joyce and Janice nearly three years ago at Kennedy Airport, and with broken hearts, come thousands of miles over here. And then Janice came over to see us for nearly five weeks and we had to part with her again about three weeks ago. There is so much to do that I don't usually allow myself the luxury of meditating long on these things but, with this one that is so close to our hearts, I asked myself the age-old question, "Is it really worth it?"
Is it worth leaving those whom the Lord entrusted in your care for a time that is seemingly much too short in retrospection, and go out where, many, many times you are misunderstood, distrusted, unloved, and perhaps unrewarded, humanly speaking? This is the question that haunts the minds and hearts of many and is the greatest problem ever faced by a missionary couple. Can we really lay all on the altar when the "ALL" includes our own flesh and blood? Many must "count the cost" over and over before sending their own dear children to us, whether they be six years old or sixteen. Then, having "counted the cost" they bring all the children they have and, with breaking hearts, drive off and leave them here with us. As the Lord has seen fit for us to experience the same thing many times, we mingle our tears with theirs, and learn to love them and feel with them, making a bond that draws us close to the Lord for His grace and comfort.
As I thought on these things, I came to a conclusion. If I am here on a perpetual holiday; if I am here to take rather than to give; if I am here for any selfish, self-centered reason at all; and if I have not done my very best in the task that Lord called me to do, then I am come in vain. I have not only betrayed the Lord and those who pray and gave to send us to the field, but I have betrayed my own dear children, who must turn to others for love, guidance, and comfort. We are very much averse to tear-jerkers in messages and letters, but felt that we should share our griefs with you at times, as well as our joys. In the midst of the grief at parting with Jim, is the joy that he loves the Lord and wishes to honor His Word and serve Him too. Many missionary parents have had grief upon grief when their children turned from the Lord and went their own way. We've also had the joy of seeing Joyce and Janice train for Christian service and wait upon the Lord for His direction and guidance. his blessings always outweigh the sacrifices.
Elsie Hunter
Fairfield Children's Home, South Africa
My husband, child, and I are currently in the throws of departing to serve God in a far away land. When I read my grandmother's word, I take courage. There are some really tough good-byes ahead, and yet, I believe with my grandma, "his blessings always outweigh the sacrifices." And we are seeing the blessings every day! Thank you, Jesus!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
?, light bulb, arrow, and an ear
Have you ever driven down your street and suddenly been burdened for your neighbors? Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation with a co-worker, and just had a burning desire to share Jesus with them? Have you ever been so riddled with fear to share your faith, that you've quickly put those thoughts out of your mind, and went on like any other day?
I have!!
I think most of us who love Jesus have had similar experiences. Much of the fear comes from the thinking that we will be rejected for speaking of Jesus, or we won't know what to say, or the person won't have any interest.
Last evening, I was in a "simple church" seminar hosted by Tony and Felicity Dale. Their teaching was so simple and profound, I had to share it.
First, let's set the record straight, our neighbors, co-workers, family members, and our world are interested in spirituality and the person of Jesus. They are, however, cautious of Christianity and church. So, let's try a new approach. Instead of inviting your un-churched friends to church, invite them into a discussion of spirituality.
What will this look like?
There's a mom who lives on the other side of the wall from us here in Philly. We've been friendly for a long time and help each other out every now and again. Grant and I have been praying for our neighborhood for a LONG time now (the first step in this process is PRAYER!). So, God kept laying Stacie on my heart. Well, one day, I finally got up the courage to ask her to simply read the Bible with me. I told her, I wasn't interested in teaching her anything about God, or Jesus, or how she should live. We would simply read some vital parts of the Bible and then talk about them and she could discover for herself, who God is and decide what that means for her own life.
How did she respond?? She said she'd love to do that. I was shocked! I honestly did not expect her to agree to it. She shared that she had never read the Bible, but knows people who do and realizes that it has moral teachings that could help her raise her son. At that point, I was completely blown away!
What will we do? Here's an awesome tool, that Tony and Felicity shared that I think will help you too.
It follows this pattern: ?, a light bulb, an arrow, and an ear.
First just read a verse or two (You can start in Genesis or John). Then:
1) Ask QUESTIONS that came to mind as you read the verse(s). (Think of a question mark.) The important thing is that everyone ask questions, but no one offers an answer. Rely on the Scriptures to be the authority, not yourself. (ex. How could God created everything we see in 6 days? Why did God need to rest?)
2) Talk about IDEAS that came up as you read. (Think of a light bulb.) You may remember a similar verse somewhere else, or related to the passage. Or, maybe this verse has given you understanding that you didn't have previously (ex. God created the world. God created me.)
3) Talk about something that has IMPACTED you in this verse, that you need to make applicable to your life and circumstances. (Think of an arrow, piercing your heart, causing you to make a change) (ex. If we are made in God's image, I need to treat all people with kindness.)
4) Think of someone in your life who needs to hear about this. (Think of an ear.) Go tell others what you read and the impact it's having on your life. This creates a moment where your discussion with one other can become discussions with 2 others, then 4, then 8... This method is easily reproducible. (By the way, this is the same way that church-planting movements in other countries begin!)
It's that easy!! A question mark, a light bulb, an arrow, and an ear.
You don't have to give all the answers, you don't have to spend hours studying before your meeting. There is no pressure on you. You can expect the Holy Spirit to show up and the Scriptures to do its work (the Word is the seed!).
I just love how this method takes the pressure off me, and puts it where it should be, the Word of Truth, and the Power to change lives.
So, I'm excited to begin this with Stacie! Pray for us!
Who can you start using this simple tool with?? The harvest is ripe, the laborers are few, and YOU are one of them. Get out there and share the Hope within you. Share the Truth in your hands. Your friends are waiting!
PS - if you want a outline of 20 essential passages, I can share that with you...
I have!!
I think most of us who love Jesus have had similar experiences. Much of the fear comes from the thinking that we will be rejected for speaking of Jesus, or we won't know what to say, or the person won't have any interest.
Last evening, I was in a "simple church" seminar hosted by Tony and Felicity Dale. Their teaching was so simple and profound, I had to share it.
First, let's set the record straight, our neighbors, co-workers, family members, and our world are interested in spirituality and the person of Jesus. They are, however, cautious of Christianity and church. So, let's try a new approach. Instead of inviting your un-churched friends to church, invite them into a discussion of spirituality.
What will this look like?
There's a mom who lives on the other side of the wall from us here in Philly. We've been friendly for a long time and help each other out every now and again. Grant and I have been praying for our neighborhood for a LONG time now (the first step in this process is PRAYER!). So, God kept laying Stacie on my heart. Well, one day, I finally got up the courage to ask her to simply read the Bible with me. I told her, I wasn't interested in teaching her anything about God, or Jesus, or how she should live. We would simply read some vital parts of the Bible and then talk about them and she could discover for herself, who God is and decide what that means for her own life.
How did she respond?? She said she'd love to do that. I was shocked! I honestly did not expect her to agree to it. She shared that she had never read the Bible, but knows people who do and realizes that it has moral teachings that could help her raise her son. At that point, I was completely blown away!
What will we do? Here's an awesome tool, that Tony and Felicity shared that I think will help you too.
It follows this pattern: ?, a light bulb, an arrow, and an ear.
First just read a verse or two (You can start in Genesis or John). Then:
1) Ask QUESTIONS that came to mind as you read the verse(s). (Think of a question mark.) The important thing is that everyone ask questions, but no one offers an answer. Rely on the Scriptures to be the authority, not yourself. (ex. How could God created everything we see in 6 days? Why did God need to rest?)
2) Talk about IDEAS that came up as you read. (Think of a light bulb.) You may remember a similar verse somewhere else, or related to the passage. Or, maybe this verse has given you understanding that you didn't have previously (ex. God created the world. God created me.)
3) Talk about something that has IMPACTED you in this verse, that you need to make applicable to your life and circumstances. (Think of an arrow, piercing your heart, causing you to make a change) (ex. If we are made in God's image, I need to treat all people with kindness.)
4) Think of someone in your life who needs to hear about this. (Think of an ear.) Go tell others what you read and the impact it's having on your life. This creates a moment where your discussion with one other can become discussions with 2 others, then 4, then 8... This method is easily reproducible. (By the way, this is the same way that church-planting movements in other countries begin!)
It's that easy!! A question mark, a light bulb, an arrow, and an ear.
You don't have to give all the answers, you don't have to spend hours studying before your meeting. There is no pressure on you. You can expect the Holy Spirit to show up and the Scriptures to do its work (the Word is the seed!).
I just love how this method takes the pressure off me, and puts it where it should be, the Word of Truth, and the Power to change lives.
So, I'm excited to begin this with Stacie! Pray for us!
Who can you start using this simple tool with?? The harvest is ripe, the laborers are few, and YOU are one of them. Get out there and share the Hope within you. Share the Truth in your hands. Your friends are waiting!
PS - if you want a outline of 20 essential passages, I can share that with you...
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Wrestling with Love
"If you base your life on what you are doing and how well you are doing it, you will fail to love others (since you will be focused on yourself)" (Sonship, p 56).
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal" (1 Corinthians 13:1).
Hmmm..."a resounding gong", that little phrase has been pacing through my head over the past month. I have so much going on these days, that the words spewing from mouth can best be described as just that, resounding gongs, clanging cymbals. But who am I really kidding...I have such a long list of things that I try to do each day of my life, that I've found myself in a place of always doing and leaving little time for love.
There are so many pressures on moms these days to do more than mother, to fill our lives with so much activity. Our house needs to be in perfect order. We need to make gourmet meals. We need to look good for our husbands (and whoever else may be looking). Our kids need to be perfect and use polite speech, even if they can hardly talk. Don't get me wrong, these are wonderful things. But what is at the root of these expectations and activities? And what behaviors do these expectations cause in me when I, or my child, fail to live up to them?
And then there's being a Christian. The list of man-and-woman-made rules and behaviors here is so long, it makes me cringe just to think of naming any.
Back in 2006, after working 3 years in a war-torn, third-world country, I was burnt out. I wasn't even doing that much, but my heart was just so full of bitterness and anger. My expectations of myself were much different as a single, than they are now. But there is one thing in common - my heart, my motivations.
What motivates me? Self-righteous perfectionism. Being able to say, "yes, I did that!" Looking good. Keeping to a list of self-made duties. A good reputation. Affirmation.
The quote at the top of this blog slapped me in the face today. If Jesus were here speaking to me today, He'd have the same words to say to me that He said to the Pharisees 2000 years ago. "You are a white-washed tomb." Gosh, I really don't want to hear that, Jesus. I've tried so hard to do everything right! I can hear his gentle voice, "Yes, you have. But sin was at the heart of all those outward good deeds." And of course He would be right. Pride, self-righteousness, self-reliance, desire for praise and recognition. I've been crippled by the plague of these sins. If 1 Corinthians 13 is really true, all these nice things I've been trying to do as a mommy, in the end count for nothing.
So, what's the cure for this diseased heart? Where do I go from here?
I need to preach the gospel to myself again. I am a sinner, in need of a Savior. I have no righteousness of my own, it is Jesus' righteousness that transforms me. If I do any good, it must come from a heart motivated by love for Christ, thankfulness for His sacrifice on my behalf, realizing my need for grace and extending that love and grace to those around me.
I'm tired of being a resounding gong. I'm ready to give up my check-lists and mom-made rules. I'm ready for real living. I'm ready to have grace with my 3-year-old, because I too am in need of grace. I am ready to sacrifice my time for others because Jesus sacrificed for me. I'm ready to live in obedience to Christ's commands, instead of the world's ridiculous expectations. I am ready to love, because I've been filled with God's perfect love.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal" (1 Corinthians 13:1).
Hmmm..."a resounding gong", that little phrase has been pacing through my head over the past month. I have so much going on these days, that the words spewing from mouth can best be described as just that, resounding gongs, clanging cymbals. But who am I really kidding...I have such a long list of things that I try to do each day of my life, that I've found myself in a place of always doing and leaving little time for love.
There are so many pressures on moms these days to do more than mother, to fill our lives with so much activity. Our house needs to be in perfect order. We need to make gourmet meals. We need to look good for our husbands (and whoever else may be looking). Our kids need to be perfect and use polite speech, even if they can hardly talk. Don't get me wrong, these are wonderful things. But what is at the root of these expectations and activities? And what behaviors do these expectations cause in me when I, or my child, fail to live up to them?
And then there's being a Christian. The list of man-and-woman-made rules and behaviors here is so long, it makes me cringe just to think of naming any.
Back in 2006, after working 3 years in a war-torn, third-world country, I was burnt out. I wasn't even doing that much, but my heart was just so full of bitterness and anger. My expectations of myself were much different as a single, than they are now. But there is one thing in common - my heart, my motivations.
What motivates me? Self-righteous perfectionism. Being able to say, "yes, I did that!" Looking good. Keeping to a list of self-made duties. A good reputation. Affirmation.
The quote at the top of this blog slapped me in the face today. If Jesus were here speaking to me today, He'd have the same words to say to me that He said to the Pharisees 2000 years ago. "You are a white-washed tomb." Gosh, I really don't want to hear that, Jesus. I've tried so hard to do everything right! I can hear his gentle voice, "Yes, you have. But sin was at the heart of all those outward good deeds." And of course He would be right. Pride, self-righteousness, self-reliance, desire for praise and recognition. I've been crippled by the plague of these sins. If 1 Corinthians 13 is really true, all these nice things I've been trying to do as a mommy, in the end count for nothing.
So, what's the cure for this diseased heart? Where do I go from here?
I need to preach the gospel to myself again. I am a sinner, in need of a Savior. I have no righteousness of my own, it is Jesus' righteousness that transforms me. If I do any good, it must come from a heart motivated by love for Christ, thankfulness for His sacrifice on my behalf, realizing my need for grace and extending that love and grace to those around me.
I'm tired of being a resounding gong. I'm ready to give up my check-lists and mom-made rules. I'm ready for real living. I'm ready to have grace with my 3-year-old, because I too am in need of grace. I am ready to sacrifice my time for others because Jesus sacrificed for me. I'm ready to live in obedience to Christ's commands, instead of the world's ridiculous expectations. I am ready to love, because I've been filled with God's perfect love.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Entitlement: The Great Adversary of Sacrifice
This is basically my testimony and myself preaching to myself as I think about sacrifice and what God expects of me.
When I was 22, I moved to Japan, as a single missionary women. I spent 3 years there, and then another three years in Central Asia. For the first 4 to 5 years of that time, I was young, free of debt, ambitious, had no desire to settle down, and just enjoyed the ride of serving God overseas. Then something started happening in my heart. I was 27, no prospects of marriage, burnt out from investing my life in others without seeing fruit, and really angry with God. Bitterness and entitlement began welling up in my heart before I could even name them. Here, I had “sacrificed” so much for His Name and Calling, and didn’t feel like He was giving me anything in return.
In the midst of my whining and complaining, God brought my (not yet) husband to my city in Central Asia, and we quickly fell in love and moved back here to the great USA to get married and start our family. Now, I didn’t go completely crazy, because we were pretty “poor” and my husband wouldn’t let me, but my heart coveted all that America had to offer – a nice house, a picket fence, Starbucks coffee every morning, trips to the mall, and fancy gadgets with unlimited access to the Internet. Yes, we were/are the typical middle-class American family.
Then my husband started talking crazy, talking about moving our little cozy family to the slums of Asia. WHAT!! You want me to sacrifice all this and live like a poor person? No way! I’m a middle-class American, and really happy right now! That’s when God began doing a second (or 102nd) conversion in my heart. As I really searched the Scriptures and read and re-read the life and example of Jesus, the Incarnate, (and Shane Claiborne and Scott Bessenecker), I realized that I had some serious issues going on in my heart – first and foremost: ENTITLEMENT.
Jesus is the ultimate example of what it looks like to sacrifice, after all He did make the ultimate sacrifice – His death on the cross. But, what I began to really understand was that from the moment of His birth, all the way through His three years of ministry, and then death – SACRIFICE characterized His every move and attitude.
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil 2).
Jesus was entitled to all the world has to offer – He made it after all (Col 1). Yet, He was born into poverty, never owned a home, made a simple living as a carpenter, gave up his beauty rest to spend time communing with His Father, gave His time and full attention to the needy, lost His reputation by hanging out with the prostitutes and destitutes, was constantly mocked and criticized, was disliked more than liked, and then died in the place of a murderer.
Then I look to the early church – those following Christ, who had actually seen Him in action. What was their attitude towards entitlement and sacrifice? They sold their possessions, lands, homes, so that anyone in need could be supplied for. They had no entitlement issues! Amazing!
I get so trapped into thinking that because I serve God, do good things, and am a pretty good person, I’m entitled to good things. The problem is, in reality there is no connection between doing and being good and good things. The teaching of Jesus is, that when we follow Him, we will be persecuted; we will be challenged to sell all we have and give to the poor; we will no longer serve money/things/possessions, and instead we will give to whoever has need. Last time I checked, 1 in 6 people live in poverty. There is need out there, and I have entitlement issues!
I like to daydream about what it would look like if I got over my entitlement issues and really made some sacrifices. What would it look like to have no money in my savings account because I gave it all away to the poor? What would happen if I spent less time in bed and woke up and spent hours with Jesus each morning? What would happen if I gave up every Saturday morning to serve the homeless here in Philly?
I have a feeling these really small sacrifices would actually set me free.
Monday, August 22, 2011
The Be-Attitudes
I've read and heard the Beattitudes so many times, that I will admit, when people start talking about them, I just kind of tune 'em out. When I read them at face value, I think to myself...It's really neat that Jesus esteems the poor, and merciful, and those who mourn and make peace so highly, but I'm not really one of those people, so He's not really talking to me here. I'm not poor, I show mercy every now and again, I have mourned a couple times over the loss of relatives, I try to seek righteousness and be pure-hearted, but fail more often than not. So, it's a beautiful passage, but one that seems impossible for me to ever live up to. So, I just read it and continue on.
This past weekend, Grant taught on the Beattitudes (it's one of his favorite passages, go figure!), and in doing so, found a website/blog dedicated to the Beattitudes, encouraging and inspiring regular folks like us to actually live out the Beattitudes. I'd encourage you to take a look at the website (wecan.be). The challenge set forth is so beautiful. The author, Dave Andrews, puts forth a "Beattitudes for our world" that I found really refreshing. Here is his version:
1. Blessed are the poor – or poor in spirit – who do not trust in status or riches
2. Blessed are those who mourn – who grieve over the injustice in the world
3. Blessed are the meek – who get angry but who never get aggressive [my favorite!]
4. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness – who seek justice [in Scripture, righteousness and justice have the same root words, and are used interchangeably]
5. Blessed are the merciful – who are compassionate to everyone in need
6. Blessed are the pure in heart – who are whole-hearted in their desire to do right
7. Blessed are the peacemakers – who work for peace in a world at war
8. Blessed are those persecuted for righteousness – who suffer for just causes.
Dave Andrews challenges us that if we each pray and strive towards living out these be-attitudes, we can actually be agents for change in the world, one small person at a time, until change finally occurs. I whole-heartedly agree. If these are indeed the attitudes and actions that God blesses, then they should be able to turn the world upside-down!
If you can't tell yet from my blogs, I believe with all my heart that if we really obey the commands and challenges of Jesus, transformation will happen in our lives, in the lives around us, and then in systems and structures of our world. I believe we are called into the world to be Christ, who desires to redeem and reconcile all things to Himself (Colossians 3). How can He do this without us, His ambassadors here on earth? So many years, I lived my life as though there is no hope for the awful, sinful world around me. It's bad, and it's gonna continue to be bad. Well, I'm ready to take up the Be-attitudes of Christ and His challenge to bring His Hope, Justice, and Reconciliation to this hopeless and forlorn planet!
So, Dave Andrew's challenge to myself and to you: post the above Beattitudes somewhere where you will see them often, in you house, work, car, etc. Let them soak into your heart, and then start living them, one day at a time, through lots of prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit!
This past weekend, Grant taught on the Beattitudes (it's one of his favorite passages, go figure!), and in doing so, found a website/blog dedicated to the Beattitudes, encouraging and inspiring regular folks like us to actually live out the Beattitudes. I'd encourage you to take a look at the website (wecan.be). The challenge set forth is so beautiful. The author, Dave Andrews, puts forth a "Beattitudes for our world" that I found really refreshing. Here is his version:
1. Blessed are the poor – or poor in spirit – who do not trust in status or riches
2. Blessed are those who mourn – who grieve over the injustice in the world
3. Blessed are the meek – who get angry but who never get aggressive [my favorite!]
4. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness – who seek justice [in Scripture, righteousness and justice have the same root words, and are used interchangeably]
5. Blessed are the merciful – who are compassionate to everyone in need
6. Blessed are the pure in heart – who are whole-hearted in their desire to do right
7. Blessed are the peacemakers – who work for peace in a world at war
8. Blessed are those persecuted for righteousness – who suffer for just causes.
Dave Andrews challenges us that if we each pray and strive towards living out these be-attitudes, we can actually be agents for change in the world, one small person at a time, until change finally occurs. I whole-heartedly agree. If these are indeed the attitudes and actions that God blesses, then they should be able to turn the world upside-down!
If you can't tell yet from my blogs, I believe with all my heart that if we really obey the commands and challenges of Jesus, transformation will happen in our lives, in the lives around us, and then in systems and structures of our world. I believe we are called into the world to be Christ, who desires to redeem and reconcile all things to Himself (Colossians 3). How can He do this without us, His ambassadors here on earth? So many years, I lived my life as though there is no hope for the awful, sinful world around me. It's bad, and it's gonna continue to be bad. Well, I'm ready to take up the Be-attitudes of Christ and His challenge to bring His Hope, Justice, and Reconciliation to this hopeless and forlorn planet!
So, Dave Andrew's challenge to myself and to you: post the above Beattitudes somewhere where you will see them often, in you house, work, car, etc. Let them soak into your heart, and then start living them, one day at a time, through lots of prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Bridging the Gap
"The Word became flesh and moved into the neighborhood..." John 1:14 (The Message)
I'm not sure that any other verse could better sum up what has motivated Grant and I to move to a slum in India. Jesus left His throne in heaven, and took up a simple life of carpentry, became friends with 12 simpletons, and then showed us all the Father.
I've been reflecting a lot on poverty (whether here in America or India) and its roots and its cures. I've read so much in the last couple years about these issues and how many folks have worked to relieve or end poverty in their communities. But, one thing that keeps coming back to me is RELATIONSHIP.
So many of us give contributions to the poor and ministries to the poor and that is so necessary, and I in no way want to discourage that giving. Please give monetarily, as much as possible, to the poor and ministries to the poor. But, I'd like to encourage you to take another step along with your giving.
I'm convinced that poverty cannot cease where there is no relationship. I believe much of poverty (except that caused by catastrophe) exists because of lack of relationship - with Christ and with people who love and care. People who live in poverty lack dignity, hope, and desire. They don't have jobs because they don't believe in themselves, they don't know how to put a resume together, they don't know where to go to find listings, etc. What would happen if more ordinary Jesus-followers would befriend, face to face, a person in need, listen to their story, restore their dignity, and help them get on their feet?
Now, I know that this is risky...there is always that chance that the person in need will reject your help, abuse your time and efforts, and continue to make wrong or hurtful choices. In these kinds of situations I tend to throw up my hands and give up and say what's the use. But, then God gently reminds me that this is how I am so often with Him. And that His compassions are new EVERY morning. Who am I to give up on a person in need, when I myself am a person in need or God's grace and mercy every new day? It comes back again to my RELATIONSHIP with God. It is God's nurturing in my life, His love, the fellowship of His Body that keeps going. It's the lack of those things that keep people in a cycle of poverty and need.
In Matthew 25, in the story of the sheep and the goats, Jesus speaks quite clearly about how things will go down in the final judgment. The sheep, those welcomed into Christ's Kingdom, are marked by their RELATIONSHIP to those in need. "YOU gave me food...YOU gave me drink...YOU welcomed me...YOU clothed me...YOU visited me...YOU came to me." It's a personal taking of time to be with and minister to those in need, face to face.
There are so many ways that this could play out in your life. I don't know your circumstances or where you live, I only know that Jesus is asking us to be in relationship with the needy. So, I just want to challenge you, be a friend to someone in need. Be taken advantage of in the name of serving Christ and bringing hope to a strange in need. Take a risk on someone that will never be able to repay you or give you the appreciation you deserve. It's what Christ has done for us. Let's do it for others.
I'm not sure that any other verse could better sum up what has motivated Grant and I to move to a slum in India. Jesus left His throne in heaven, and took up a simple life of carpentry, became friends with 12 simpletons, and then showed us all the Father.
I've been reflecting a lot on poverty (whether here in America or India) and its roots and its cures. I've read so much in the last couple years about these issues and how many folks have worked to relieve or end poverty in their communities. But, one thing that keeps coming back to me is RELATIONSHIP.
So many of us give contributions to the poor and ministries to the poor and that is so necessary, and I in no way want to discourage that giving. Please give monetarily, as much as possible, to the poor and ministries to the poor. But, I'd like to encourage you to take another step along with your giving.
I'm convinced that poverty cannot cease where there is no relationship. I believe much of poverty (except that caused by catastrophe) exists because of lack of relationship - with Christ and with people who love and care. People who live in poverty lack dignity, hope, and desire. They don't have jobs because they don't believe in themselves, they don't know how to put a resume together, they don't know where to go to find listings, etc. What would happen if more ordinary Jesus-followers would befriend, face to face, a person in need, listen to their story, restore their dignity, and help them get on their feet?
Now, I know that this is risky...there is always that chance that the person in need will reject your help, abuse your time and efforts, and continue to make wrong or hurtful choices. In these kinds of situations I tend to throw up my hands and give up and say what's the use. But, then God gently reminds me that this is how I am so often with Him. And that His compassions are new EVERY morning. Who am I to give up on a person in need, when I myself am a person in need or God's grace and mercy every new day? It comes back again to my RELATIONSHIP with God. It is God's nurturing in my life, His love, the fellowship of His Body that keeps going. It's the lack of those things that keep people in a cycle of poverty and need.
In Matthew 25, in the story of the sheep and the goats, Jesus speaks quite clearly about how things will go down in the final judgment. The sheep, those welcomed into Christ's Kingdom, are marked by their RELATIONSHIP to those in need. "YOU gave me food...YOU gave me drink...YOU welcomed me...YOU clothed me...YOU visited me...YOU came to me." It's a personal taking of time to be with and minister to those in need, face to face.
There are so many ways that this could play out in your life. I don't know your circumstances or where you live, I only know that Jesus is asking us to be in relationship with the needy. So, I just want to challenge you, be a friend to someone in need. Be taken advantage of in the name of serving Christ and bringing hope to a strange in need. Take a risk on someone that will never be able to repay you or give you the appreciation you deserve. It's what Christ has done for us. Let's do it for others.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Walking Trees
Mark 8:22-26: And they came to Bethsaida. And some people brought to him a blind man and begged him to touch him. And he took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village, and when he had spit on his eyes and laid his hands on him, he asked him, "Do you see anything?" And he looked up and said, "I see men, but they look like trees, walking." Then Jesus laid his hands on his eyes again; and he opened his eyes, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. And he sent him to his home, saying, "Do not even enter the village."
This is one of those strange passages in the Gospels that makes me wonder every time I read it. What in the world is going on with Jesus in this story? I mean just in the previous chapter, He heals a woman who simply touches the fringe of His garment, exhibiting His marvelous power. And now, there's this really detailed story of a seeming "oops" moment for Jesus. Something about where I am in my journey this week made me stop and really think this story through this week. And it REALLY spoke to me.
The first thing that strikes me in the passage, is that when the blind man meets Jesus, Jesus takes him by the hand and leads him out of the village. Jesus could have healed the man at the very first touch of the hand, and everyone would have walked away really happy. Jesus certainly did this on many other occasions. But, this time, for some reason, while the man's eyes are still closed, Jesus takes the blind man by the hand and takes him on a little journey outside the man's comfort zone.
Then, another strange twist, Jesus spits on the blind man's eyes and then touches them. I'm sure the man was like, "what in the world are you doing to me Jesus??" Not only is he still blind, now he's got messy spit on him. Finally he opens his eyes, and all he sees are men walking about, but they look like trees. So, Jesus has given the man some amount of vision. He can see something, but there's no clarity. Everything's foggy. I wonder how the blind man felt. Disappointed, disillusioned, frustrated at Jesus's lack of power in his life?
Jesus, being good as He is, touches the man a second time. Finally, the man's sight is "restored, and he saw everything clearly." I imagine the man's total relief at this point. After a very strange, unexpected, unnerving series of events, Christ has made the blind man well and he can see EVERYTHING clearly.
So, how does this speak to our own journeys? Sometimes, Jesus touches us and immediately we are whole, we see things just as He sees them, and we walk away really happy and blessed.
But, other times, Jesus takes His time with us. He leads us by the hand and tells us, "walk by faith and not by sight." Sometimes, He touches us and gives us some clarity, some vision, but all we can really see are "walking trees". We are confused and our faith is shaken. We still have more to see, and all we can do is to wait for Him to touch us again, and hope that we will finally see.
I don't know where you are in your faith journey today. Maybe, like me, you feel blind and are being led by the hand to a place you don't quite know, outside your comfort zone, and you wonder if Jesus will ever just unleash His power and give you clear sight and direction. Take heart friend! Jesus, in His own way, will bring clarity. It might get messy, but we just have to keep holding on to faith, knowing that He CAN and WILL do it.
Keep walking, keep following, keep letting Jesus take the lead.
This is one of those strange passages in the Gospels that makes me wonder every time I read it. What in the world is going on with Jesus in this story? I mean just in the previous chapter, He heals a woman who simply touches the fringe of His garment, exhibiting His marvelous power. And now, there's this really detailed story of a seeming "oops" moment for Jesus. Something about where I am in my journey this week made me stop and really think this story through this week. And it REALLY spoke to me.
The first thing that strikes me in the passage, is that when the blind man meets Jesus, Jesus takes him by the hand and leads him out of the village. Jesus could have healed the man at the very first touch of the hand, and everyone would have walked away really happy. Jesus certainly did this on many other occasions. But, this time, for some reason, while the man's eyes are still closed, Jesus takes the blind man by the hand and takes him on a little journey outside the man's comfort zone.
Then, another strange twist, Jesus spits on the blind man's eyes and then touches them. I'm sure the man was like, "what in the world are you doing to me Jesus??" Not only is he still blind, now he's got messy spit on him. Finally he opens his eyes, and all he sees are men walking about, but they look like trees. So, Jesus has given the man some amount of vision. He can see something, but there's no clarity. Everything's foggy. I wonder how the blind man felt. Disappointed, disillusioned, frustrated at Jesus's lack of power in his life?
Jesus, being good as He is, touches the man a second time. Finally, the man's sight is "restored, and he saw everything clearly." I imagine the man's total relief at this point. After a very strange, unexpected, unnerving series of events, Christ has made the blind man well and he can see EVERYTHING clearly.
So, how does this speak to our own journeys? Sometimes, Jesus touches us and immediately we are whole, we see things just as He sees them, and we walk away really happy and blessed.
But, other times, Jesus takes His time with us. He leads us by the hand and tells us, "walk by faith and not by sight." Sometimes, He touches us and gives us some clarity, some vision, but all we can really see are "walking trees". We are confused and our faith is shaken. We still have more to see, and all we can do is to wait for Him to touch us again, and hope that we will finally see.
I don't know where you are in your faith journey today. Maybe, like me, you feel blind and are being led by the hand to a place you don't quite know, outside your comfort zone, and you wonder if Jesus will ever just unleash His power and give you clear sight and direction. Take heart friend! Jesus, in His own way, will bring clarity. It might get messy, but we just have to keep holding on to faith, knowing that He CAN and WILL do it.
Keep walking, keep following, keep letting Jesus take the lead.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
A Beautiful Dying
Matthew 16:24-26, "Then Jesus told his disciples, 'If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? Or what shall a man give in return for his life?'"
When Grant, Judah, and I went out to the 2-week orientation course for Servants to Asia's Urban Poor, it was October and the fall colors in Vancouver were brilliant. Being inside for seminars all day, I relished the few hours of the day when the three of us could go for a nice walk and be surrounded by trees and fresh air. Our seminars were heavy. And the readings I had done by Servant's missionaries were also quite heavy. The theme I kept grappling with, that almost every speaker spoke of, was dying to self. Each time I heard or read that theme, I would cringe. It seems so harsh, so depressing, so cold, so useless. Why should I die to myself? The obvious answer is that Jesus told us to. But, that answer just wasn't doing it for me. I denied myself when I went to Afghanistan. And the entire time I was there, I questioned God and myself, "is this really worth it??" The struggle, the extreme heat, the extreme cold, the abusive language hurled from male bystanders just because I was a woman. On a day to day basis, the observable results were just not worth it. Thinking of denying myself and going again to live amongst the poor, and this time in an urban slum, and this time with a family, I just couldn't wrap my heart around it.
On the final day of the two weeks, each of the orientation participants were asked to make, do, talk about something beautiful that they saw throughout the two week experience. My mind immediately went to the beautiful Fall leaves my eyes soaked in each day. Then I thought about those leaves. Each of them, yellow, red, brown, orange, they were all dying. But their death was a brilliant sight to behold. I thought about the dying that Jesus was calling me to and realized that that death is also beautiful. What would I really be dying to? Sin, selfishness, over-consumption, materialism, entitlement, instant gratification, laziness, constant access to TV and internet. I mean, is that really what I want my life to be marked by??
After Fall comes Winter, and then eventually Spring. And so it is with this dying to self. Once I have died to sin and worldliness, there is finally room for new growth. "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit (John 12:24)." Wow, how I long for God to bear fruit in my life and through my life and through my "death". There is a beauty in dying, and an even greater beauty in newness of life!
So what is Jesus asking you to die to? What are the sins in your life that mask themselves in "entitlement", "need", or "keeping up with the Joneses?" What can you lay down now so that new fruit can be borne in your life and through your life?
When Grant, Judah, and I went out to the 2-week orientation course for Servants to Asia's Urban Poor, it was October and the fall colors in Vancouver were brilliant. Being inside for seminars all day, I relished the few hours of the day when the three of us could go for a nice walk and be surrounded by trees and fresh air. Our seminars were heavy. And the readings I had done by Servant's missionaries were also quite heavy. The theme I kept grappling with, that almost every speaker spoke of, was dying to self. Each time I heard or read that theme, I would cringe. It seems so harsh, so depressing, so cold, so useless. Why should I die to myself? The obvious answer is that Jesus told us to. But, that answer just wasn't doing it for me. I denied myself when I went to Afghanistan. And the entire time I was there, I questioned God and myself, "is this really worth it??" The struggle, the extreme heat, the extreme cold, the abusive language hurled from male bystanders just because I was a woman. On a day to day basis, the observable results were just not worth it. Thinking of denying myself and going again to live amongst the poor, and this time in an urban slum, and this time with a family, I just couldn't wrap my heart around it.
On the final day of the two weeks, each of the orientation participants were asked to make, do, talk about something beautiful that they saw throughout the two week experience. My mind immediately went to the beautiful Fall leaves my eyes soaked in each day. Then I thought about those leaves. Each of them, yellow, red, brown, orange, they were all dying. But their death was a brilliant sight to behold. I thought about the dying that Jesus was calling me to and realized that that death is also beautiful. What would I really be dying to? Sin, selfishness, over-consumption, materialism, entitlement, instant gratification, laziness, constant access to TV and internet. I mean, is that really what I want my life to be marked by??
After Fall comes Winter, and then eventually Spring. And so it is with this dying to self. Once I have died to sin and worldliness, there is finally room for new growth. "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit (John 12:24)." Wow, how I long for God to bear fruit in my life and through my life and through my "death". There is a beauty in dying, and an even greater beauty in newness of life!
So what is Jesus asking you to die to? What are the sins in your life that mask themselves in "entitlement", "need", or "keeping up with the Joneses?" What can you lay down now so that new fruit can be borne in your life and through your life?
Friday, May 20, 2011
Intimacy and Jesus's Example
There are days when I come to my mid-day time with the Lord, and all I can do is lay on the couch and cry. It doesn't happen often, but a little more frequently these days. A couple days ago, was one of those days. In those times, I like to imagine that I'm laying in the Father's arms, and just listen to His gentle voice. I hear Him say the most amazing things: I'm proud of you; I love you just as you are; I'm everything you need; your obedience pleases me; I delight in you; Stay with me and just rest. Other times I receive a challenge: Go to your neighbor who needs a listening ear; Call so and so; Love your husband and your child - really love them; Keep moving ahead; Fear not, trust me! After those times, I always wonder why I don't stop and just listen more often. My soul is refreshed and my confidence is renewed.
A couple days ago, my neighbor friend was asking me why we were going to India - "Aren't they OK on their own? They have a religion they are happy with and they have a pretty good way of life going - in some ways better than our own. Aren't you just gonna mess that up, bringing your religion and culture?" I did my best to explain that we weren't going there to change their religion and culture, just to bring Hope and Love to those who have none. It was an interesting exchange and the questions didn't surprise me, but she was the first to actually question our motives. And even though I wasn't surprised, it did sting just a bit, having my motives questioned. That afternoon when I was laying on my couch, imagining myself in the Father's arms, He reminded me of the life of Jesus. How Christ was constantly questioned by the people around him. "What good can come from Nazareth??"; "Whose authority are you using - God's or Satan's?"; "What are you trying to do?". Obviously my friend's questions pale in comparison. I wondered where Jesus's confidence came from. Jesus was always able to answer, "I always/only do what the Father tells me."
The Father reminded me of the very intimate times Jesus spent with Him each and every morning before dawn, away in a quiet place. Jesus's confidence came from the same source that my confidence must come from: the Father. The truth of the matter is, the only reason that we are going to India is because we know that God is asking us to go. And that is all the confidence I need to move ahead.
I guess this is what I'm trying to get at. Jesus always knew what the Father's will was, because He spent intimate time with the Father each morning. Throughout the day, Jesus drew upon this intimacy with confidence to do amazing things - healed the sick, taught new truths to hardened hearts, discerned where he should and should not go, and ultimately faced death on a cross. He suffered criticism, shame, rejection, and was denied by His closest friends. But He always pressed on, knowing the mission His Father gave Him and His Father's delight in Him.
What is it that I need, that we all need, to carry on Jesus' kingdom work wherever we are? What is it that we need to obey God in full trust? What do we need to do amazing things that bring glory to the Father? Where does the confidence we need come from? It's pretty simple - intimacy with the Father. All else flows from there.
Father, fix my heart and my hope on You. Amen.
A couple days ago, my neighbor friend was asking me why we were going to India - "Aren't they OK on their own? They have a religion they are happy with and they have a pretty good way of life going - in some ways better than our own. Aren't you just gonna mess that up, bringing your religion and culture?" I did my best to explain that we weren't going there to change their religion and culture, just to bring Hope and Love to those who have none. It was an interesting exchange and the questions didn't surprise me, but she was the first to actually question our motives. And even though I wasn't surprised, it did sting just a bit, having my motives questioned. That afternoon when I was laying on my couch, imagining myself in the Father's arms, He reminded me of the life of Jesus. How Christ was constantly questioned by the people around him. "What good can come from Nazareth??"; "Whose authority are you using - God's or Satan's?"; "What are you trying to do?". Obviously my friend's questions pale in comparison. I wondered where Jesus's confidence came from. Jesus was always able to answer, "I always/only do what the Father tells me."
The Father reminded me of the very intimate times Jesus spent with Him each and every morning before dawn, away in a quiet place. Jesus's confidence came from the same source that my confidence must come from: the Father. The truth of the matter is, the only reason that we are going to India is because we know that God is asking us to go. And that is all the confidence I need to move ahead.
I guess this is what I'm trying to get at. Jesus always knew what the Father's will was, because He spent intimate time with the Father each morning. Throughout the day, Jesus drew upon this intimacy with confidence to do amazing things - healed the sick, taught new truths to hardened hearts, discerned where he should and should not go, and ultimately faced death on a cross. He suffered criticism, shame, rejection, and was denied by His closest friends. But He always pressed on, knowing the mission His Father gave Him and His Father's delight in Him.
What is it that I need, that we all need, to carry on Jesus' kingdom work wherever we are? What is it that we need to obey God in full trust? What do we need to do amazing things that bring glory to the Father? Where does the confidence we need come from? It's pretty simple - intimacy with the Father. All else flows from there.
Father, fix my heart and my hope on You. Amen.
Friday, May 6, 2011
That all things will be well: A Day at Momma T's
Morning Prayer said by the Missionaries of Charity:
"Dear Lord, the Great Healer, I kneel before You, since every perfect gift must come from You. I pray give skill to my hands, clear vision to my mind, kindness and meekness to my heart. Give me singleness of purpose, strength to lift up a part of the burden of my suffering fellow men, and a true realization of the privilege that is mine. Take from my heart all guile and worldliness, that with the simple faith of a child, I may rely on You. Amen.
We have our hope in Jesus
That all things will be well
in the Lord."
Grant and I spent one morning at one of Mother Teresa's homes for disabled, ill, and/or destitute adults. Prem Dan is located in on of the worst slums of the city. Just in front of the entrance, two dead rats where being eaten by crows. The shanty homes outside were pieced together by whatever materials could be salvaged from trash heaps. The home is just a short walk from the Eastern Railway Station where scores of homeless and beggars stake their ground on the platforms. Amidst this astonishing poverty is an oasis of greenery, clean walkways, and smiling nuns. As we were greeted by men and women with heart-wrenching ailments, I was astonished once again by the joy that the poor carry in their spirits. They are not "poor in spirit" by any means. As I reached out my hands and greetings to disfigured women, they gave even more - smiles, kisses, happiness that I had chosen to wear Bengali "marriage" bangles.
As I looked around at the simpleness of their accommodation, lifestyle, beds, food, the cockroaches crawling in beds and on walls, the many heads infested with lice, I wondered if these women truly felt cared for. And yet, there was not even a hint that these women were disgruntled. They had been lifted from homelessness, railroad platforms, rescued from fires, abuse, and utter neglect. To be touched, healed, bathed, clothed, fed, and given a safe place to sleep - that was enough. More than enough actually. Standing in my position, as a middle-class American, the conditions seemed much less than adequate. To these women who'd only known desperate poverty - Prem Dan offered abundant life.
I was struck by the community among these sick, maimed, and battered women. They really cared for each other. The seeing helped the blind. The mobile helped the immobile. If a woman had lice, all the others made sure she was brought over to have her head shaved. If one needed a cup of water, the others called out for an "auntie's" attention. They laughed. Those that could dance, danced. They shared one another's joys and burdens, on the most elementary level of life. There were no fights or arguments. This was a place of peace.
It was an amazing privilege to serve them. Scrubbing mattresses, making beds, helping women go to the bathroom, changing their clothes, feeding a woman who hadn't eaten in days. Feeding a blind woman her lunch. Washing up the dishes. Jesus words from Matthew 25 kept ringing in my ears, "as you did it to one of the least of these my [sisters], you did it to Me." It was beautiful to work alongside the nuns. I can't imagine working at Prem Dan day in and day out. What strength of heart and body these dear woman have. I was humbled in their presence. Working with the other volunteers from around the world was just as humbling. Folks from Japan, China, Korea, Sweden, Germany, Italy, Mexico, Ohio, San Francisco, Pittsburgh. From all races, backgrounds, and religions, but all with the desire to help the poor and take part in something greater than themselves; to help carry on the legacy of one small woman, Momma T (as Mother Teresa is affectionately known). There was tremendous unity and community among us.
I don't know if I'll ever make my way back to Prem Dan. But the few hours I spent there are etched in my memory. The 2000 passages of Scripture speaking of the poor have whole new meaning now. My desire to serve the poor is greater, much greater.
"Dear Lord, the Great Healer, I kneel before You, since every perfect gift must come from You. I pray give skill to my hands, clear vision to my mind, kindness and meekness to my heart. Give me singleness of purpose, strength to lift up a part of the burden of my suffering fellow men, and a true realization of the privilege that is mine. Take from my heart all guile and worldliness, that with the simple faith of a child, I may rely on You. Amen.
We have our hope in Jesus
That all things will be well
in the Lord."
Grant and I spent one morning at one of Mother Teresa's homes for disabled, ill, and/or destitute adults. Prem Dan is located in on of the worst slums of the city. Just in front of the entrance, two dead rats where being eaten by crows. The shanty homes outside were pieced together by whatever materials could be salvaged from trash heaps. The home is just a short walk from the Eastern Railway Station where scores of homeless and beggars stake their ground on the platforms. Amidst this astonishing poverty is an oasis of greenery, clean walkways, and smiling nuns. As we were greeted by men and women with heart-wrenching ailments, I was astonished once again by the joy that the poor carry in their spirits. They are not "poor in spirit" by any means. As I reached out my hands and greetings to disfigured women, they gave even more - smiles, kisses, happiness that I had chosen to wear Bengali "marriage" bangles.
As I looked around at the simpleness of their accommodation, lifestyle, beds, food, the cockroaches crawling in beds and on walls, the many heads infested with lice, I wondered if these women truly felt cared for. And yet, there was not even a hint that these women were disgruntled. They had been lifted from homelessness, railroad platforms, rescued from fires, abuse, and utter neglect. To be touched, healed, bathed, clothed, fed, and given a safe place to sleep - that was enough. More than enough actually. Standing in my position, as a middle-class American, the conditions seemed much less than adequate. To these women who'd only known desperate poverty - Prem Dan offered abundant life.
I was struck by the community among these sick, maimed, and battered women. They really cared for each other. The seeing helped the blind. The mobile helped the immobile. If a woman had lice, all the others made sure she was brought over to have her head shaved. If one needed a cup of water, the others called out for an "auntie's" attention. They laughed. Those that could dance, danced. They shared one another's joys and burdens, on the most elementary level of life. There were no fights or arguments. This was a place of peace.
It was an amazing privilege to serve them. Scrubbing mattresses, making beds, helping women go to the bathroom, changing their clothes, feeding a woman who hadn't eaten in days. Feeding a blind woman her lunch. Washing up the dishes. Jesus words from Matthew 25 kept ringing in my ears, "as you did it to one of the least of these my [sisters], you did it to Me." It was beautiful to work alongside the nuns. I can't imagine working at Prem Dan day in and day out. What strength of heart and body these dear woman have. I was humbled in their presence. Working with the other volunteers from around the world was just as humbling. Folks from Japan, China, Korea, Sweden, Germany, Italy, Mexico, Ohio, San Francisco, Pittsburgh. From all races, backgrounds, and religions, but all with the desire to help the poor and take part in something greater than themselves; to help carry on the legacy of one small woman, Momma T (as Mother Teresa is affectionately known). There was tremendous unity and community among us.
I don't know if I'll ever make my way back to Prem Dan. But the few hours I spent there are etched in my memory. The 2000 passages of Scripture speaking of the poor have whole new meaning now. My desire to serve the poor is greater, much greater.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Release
For the righteous will never be moved;
he will be remembered forever.
He is not afraid of bad news;
his trust is firm, trusting in the LORD.
His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.
-Psalm 112
FEAR. How many times have I found myself in the clutches of this ever looming adversary? How many times has it kept me from obedience, from confidence, from speaking Truth? Why do I find myself again in its torrid throws?
In the past, fear has kept me from moving forward, from doing what I know God is asking me to do. I've often feared loss of my reputation, rejection, failure, even for my life a time or two. But today, my fear is a bit different, and much the same.
Grant and I just came home from spending two weeks in K-town, India. We were hosted by a team that we are looking to join for long-term service in the near future. We spent our days living in, breathing in, and interacting with a world very unfamiliar. I constantly asked myself, "Can I do this?" Can I hack the heat and humidity? Can I cope with no running water in my home? Can I deal with the crowds, the staring men, the new language and culture? The answer was always yes, I can do this (with the help of God, of course!).
The last couple of days in K-town, I suddenly felt this "adversary" arise in my heart once again. Part of it was a fear that the team might reject us. But a larger part was fear for my innocent baby boy. The one aspect of life in India that I have yet to reconcile is that Judah is going to suffer because of a calling God has put on Grant and I. His suffering is inevitable. Grant and I fully understand what we are doing and why - we are moving to a slum because we believe that God loves the people living there and that He desires to see their hearts and lives transformed. Judah, not yet three years old, has no concept of what we are doing or why. God has prepared Grant and I for years for this upcoming step. Judah, in a way, is an innocent bystander, thrust into this journey by his parents. How will he react? How will he handle being the only white kid in his neighborhood? How will he respond the first time he is bullied, and every time after that? Can he live on Indian food, with few protein sources? Will any of the schooling options work for him? Although we got a good picture of what our life would look like, I still have no answers for these questions for Judah. As I walked back into the USA and saw normal kids doing normal things, I began to long for Judah to just be a normal kid, to not have to deal with the difficulties that India will bring to him.
I know in my head all the answers to these common missionary family fears. "If God is leading you, He is leading your kids." "There are dangers in America and every place." "Judah could be bullied here just as much as India." Seeing two beautiful MKs living happily in an Indian slum, brings some peace of mind. But still my heart fears. What it comes down to is, do I trust God with my son? At this moment, the fear in my heart is letting me know, no, I don't trust Him.
So, now I have two options. I can allow these fears to hold me and my family back from God's call. I can decide that the suffering we will endure is not worth it. Or, I can bring these fears before God's throne and release them. Release Judah. Release him into the very powerful, loving, gracious hands of his Eternal Father. I can choose to trust. I can obey Jesus' command to "Fear not!"
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